Don’t be a sucker. Just say no to ZAP.

One of the funny things about a fuel crisis is that it leads to a lot of snake-oil sales (“better MPG through Snake Oil brand additive!”). And the funny thing is that even though living in a capitalist society requires some small modicum of common sense when it comes to purchasing goods, there are always some stunningly idiotic propositions that simply won’t die. Thus, the motto “if it’s too good to be true, it surely isn’t” goes unheeded as folks fork over cash without thinking. (Insert parallels to housing crisis here.) But I’m not here to lecture about the economy – do I look like Keynes? What does this have to do with cars?

I’m so glad you asked. But first, let me ask YOU a question: how would you like a car that got the equivalent of 200MPG, didn’t require fossil fuels, protected baby seals from typhus, and has a range of 16,000 nautical miles? If you said “yes!” then have I got a proposition for you! Test drive a ZAP today!

(Quiz: did you actually get excited about a ZAP car? If so, please continue reading the rest of this article and remember that I’m not judging you.)

ZAP is one of the more recent and media-savvy snake-oil purveyors of late. They essentially sell several versions of their Xebra electric vehicle, which comes in a sedan and a truck and (if you like) with a zebra-themed paint job. They pitch this as some sort of messiah of urban transportation, much as the Segway. Much like the Segway’s most iconic image, President George W. Bush falling flat on his face when the batteries died, the Xebra fails to match the hype. Essentially a dangerous, Chinese-built golf cart with 3 wheels, dangerously slow acceleration, a miserable range of 25 miles in optimal conditions, and poor reliability, the Xebra is really a $12,000 Power Wheels car.

In fact, I think ZAP sells more hype than cars. A celebrated expose that Wired did in 2008 exposed ZAP as essentially being an undercapitalized franchise wholesaler. They sell you on vaporware, you plunk down thousands to purchase a dealer franchise! Isn’t that a Ponzi scheme? Well, technically maybe not, but Bernie Madoff would approve. In any event, it’s SHADY with a capital “T” and I wouldn’t be surprised if there was some sort of criminal investigation commencing soon on a variety of fraud charges.

Of course, ZAP is innocent until proven guilty, but look, no one is forcing you to buy their crappy cars. Take that $12,000 and go purchase a lightly used Honda Civic GX, which runs on clean-burning natural gas with almost no emissions whatsoever (it was actually certified as the cleanest burning internal combustion engine in the world for a production car), a range that is approximately 10 times the range of a Xebra, and the reliability of a Honda. And you can send me a thank-you note too.

Right next to the giant jar of mayonnaise: a Chinese car?

There was an episode of the Simpsons a while back that involved a giant food big-lots store called CostMo, where Marge buys a 12-pound container of nutmeg. The motto was “Where Shopping Is A Baffling Ordeal.” Our reality has possibly moved closer to merging with the Simpsons universe.

Several blogs are reporting that Chinese automakers, particularly FAW, are looking at how to establish networks to sell their vehicles in North America. The companies interested in importing the cars have hit upon an idea to sell them at big-box stores like Costco and Wal-Mart. One importer, GS Cars, is already doing that in Mexico and apparently moved 4,000 units last year.

My take? Not as crazy as it sounds, but I don’t think the venture has a ton of hope. Brand-quality associations are pretty strong, and selling a car at Wal-Mart might taint the company.

Finally, consider the historical perspective. In the ‘50s Sears-Roebuck sold all sorts of motor vehicles, mostly Vespa and Cushman scooters, under the Allstate brand. They also sold a car in 1951, simply called the “Allstate.” It was in reality a small and cheap economy car made by the Kaiser-Frazier Corporation called the “Henry J” after the chairman of the company. It was cheap, poorly built, and didn’t appeal at all to American sensibilities of the 1950s. Basically, it had a weak marketing message and they didn’t sell, whether badged as Kaisers or as Allstates.

Will the Chinese cars suffer the same fate? I think if the economy recovers, everyone will spend a few dollars more and get a Chevy Aveo or something. I predict that until the Chinese can solidly establish a traditional dealer network, crazy stunts like this won’t move enough cars to make a real difference.

[source: hybridcars.com, wikipedia]

Would you buy a Geely Urban Nanny?

I was joking a bit in the last post about the Geely Beauty Leopard. Well, the name of Geely's pickup is the PU (funny in and of itself), and the delivery-truck version of it is called either the Urban Nanny or the Rural Nanny, depending on how it's configured.

It's based on the old (ancient) platform of the Daihatsu Charade, another really unfortunately named car, that was actually sold in the US for a couple of years.

I know it's problematic to make fun of the names of cars in other languages, but I seriously hope before Geely ever sells a car in the US they learn how to do focus groups with Americans.

Volvo Potentially to Be Purchased By Chinese Company

Several sources are reporting that the Chinese manufacturer Geely is interested in purchasing Volvo from Ford. Geely is known in the US mostly for making cars with funny names, like the BL (which stands for “Beauty Leopard.” Pictured above, lifted from the dictionary next to the word “ironic.”). Ford has spun off much of its former Premiere Automotive Group (PAG) to other companies. Land Rover, Aston Martin, and Jaguar are now owned by Tata of India, and Volvo is really the last PAG marque left.

Volvo hasn’t been good to Ford. Low sales volumes and losses have made Volvo sort of a liability, and the PAG (in my opinion) hasn’t really had much of a halo effect on Ford. I mean, do most people even know that Ford owns Volvo? The connection really isn’t there.

What would a Geely acquisition mean for you as a consumer? Probably not too much – I doubt that Geely would tinker too much with the cars or their direction. Volvo still has a lot of structure in Sweden, including designers and engineers, so my guess is that the Swedes would keep developing the cars for Volvo, and work double duty making the Geely cars themselves better. The real question is whether or not this is a cost-effective way for Geely to get some Western design and engineering experience. I’ll leave that to the beancounters.

[Sources: NYT, Edmunds, Autoblog]

Jing Qi! China passes US in total auto sales

Despite a worldwide recession that is affecting even China (after significantly growing it’s economy for most of 2008), the Chinese bought about 795,000 new vehicles in January of ’09. That compares to approximately 657,000 vehicles sold in the US.

For whatever it’s worth, this is the first time in history that China has surpassed the US in vehicle sales. But don’t expect me to scream “oh no, we’re going to be overrun by crappy Chinese cars!” I feel like the learning curve isn’t going to be too much steeper for China than it was for Korea. It took the Koreans, particularly Kia and Hyundai, only a decade or two from making bad copies of other cars to being serious rivals to Japanese automakers in terms of quality and design. Want proof? Look at the new Hyundai Genesis. Compare that to a Hyundai Excel from 1990 and you’ll understand that motivated companies with advantages in labor costs, and some help from foreign expertise, will catch up really quick. Realistically, I give the Chinese another 10 years, and possibly less, to make very competitive cars. And I don’t expect the Koreans to give their market position up easily, so expect a price, feature, and quality war in the near future. Chinese automakers like BYD (“Build Your Dreams,” actually one of the better manufacturer names) are already very serious about hybrid technology, too.

That will be good for consumers, trust me. You’ll benefit in the long run.

[Source: Freep.com. Bnet Autos]